HOROSCOPE #3

Hello my little cats! 

I hope you're well, and on this Sunday morning, I'm bringing you Madame Irma's very serious horoscope in graphic association with our genial Alexandra B, who's come especially today, for love, to make us little cats in modeling clay... I hope you like it! See you later, my darlings... To find Alexandra's work, go to here and here !

Lisa Banana

•  Aries, from March 21 to April 20 (like Josiane Balasko) 

Your birthday's coming up and you're already buzzing with excitement, your other half has promised you a big surprise, and you're already dreaming of Moscow's Red Square, or at least the red soles of a pair of Louboutins. Calm your desires, especially if he's a Capricorn, as his planets are not aligned under the sign of the Rouble. 

•  Taurus, April 21 to May 21 (like David Charvet) 

Work: you're enjoying dazzling success right now, like David Charvet on Baywatch. Don't rest on your laurels, and keep giving it your all to ensure your career doesn't run out of steam. Valentine's Day was full of surprises and you're riding a wave of happiness. Singles feel as if they've been in apnea for the past few months, so make the most of your celibacy, which will soon come to an end.

• Gemini, May 22 to June 21 (like Stomy Bugsy) 

 Your dad may not be a gangster, but he's still your best ally, so remember to spoil him! On the health front, you've just emerged from a bout with the flu and you're coming out of your shell like a pretty pearl. Spring is almost here, so activate your plan of attack! Finance: Pluto will upset your equilibrium for a few days, so stop going to Starbucks.

•  Cancer, from June 22 to July 22 (like Bill Cosby) 

Madonna joins forces with Venus to guarantee you an incredible sex appeal, so watch out for love at first sight! On the professional side, you're bored, no longer laughing at lunchtime jokes, routine has set in and you don't like your new job as much as you used to... It's time to take stock and look elsewhere, you may find some answers in the HR department, Cancer, the planets align under the sign of P.R.O.M.O.T.I.O.N.

• Leo, from July 23 to August 23 (like Calogero)  

The arrival of spring puts you in a state of excitement. You've been well rested over the winter and are just waiting for the sun to set all your plans in motion. If, however, you don't have the patience to wait for spring, which should arrive in August, try the tropics. And don't forget the sun cream, don't forget Donatella Versace in case you get lazy, and jump on your SPF 50 instead of doing your starfish. 

• Virgo, from August 24 to September 22 (like Alex Lutz) 

With a new temp in your sights in the openspace, you'll use your charms to achieve your goals. Saturn and its rings are aligned to help you end up with a ring on your finger. On the financial side, you won €16 at Tac o Tac last week, so you're all set! Health: a good lemon juice in the morning on an empty stomach! 

•  Libra, from September 23 to October 22 (like Sophie Favier) 

Between work and love, your heart Libra, project yourself 10 years into the future and this may help you see things more clearly. My little finger tells me that you need to step back and, above all, get some sleep. Prefer tea to white wine and you'll see that your migraines won't last as long.

• Scorpio, from October 23 to November 22 (like Mademoiselle Agnès) 

Scorpios in the first decan will experience a first half of March full of twists and turns. Heart-wise, you've seen "Fifty Shades of Grey" 12 times and it's given you ideas, so be sure of yourself before you arrive at the office with marks on your wrists that you'll find hard to live with. Cheers, stop trying to convince yourself that French fries are vegetables.

• Sagittarius, November 23 to December 21 (like Philippe Etchebest) 

You've just broken up with your other half for the 12th time this month. Dry your tears, you're great, take a step back, nobody should make you cry, except for laughter... Remember that everything comes to those who wait, be patient and stop rubbing your eyes if you don't want to end up like Gilbert Montagné. Cheers: a good raclette to cheer you up. 

•  Capricorn, December 22 to January 20 (like Popeye) 

As previously announced, you're broke, your wallet's empty, your bank account's in the doldrums. In short, you've got it: it's not all plain sailing financially. Take advantage of the situation to enjoy simple, inexpensive pleasures: watch Le Petit Journal in the warmth of the comforter, visit your Mum to cook you a nice roast... Don't worry, March promises to be more fruitful. 

• Aquarius, January 21 to February 19 (like Mia Frye) 

The weather's good, the sky's blue... You feel like you're living in a Xavier Dolan movie, and it's quite pleasant. Just remember that a twist is bound to break this harmony and sting you to the quick, if only for the sake of the audience. Stay on your guard and take off that blue wig - it doesn't suit your complexion at all. 

• Pisces, February 20 to March 20 (like Jeanne Mas) 

Not everything is black and white, or red and black as Jeanne would say... Don't forget to compromise both at work and at home, so it's no big deal if your lipstick doesn't match your shoes today (by the way, if you have this bad habit, Christina doesn't approve of this kind of faux pas). Total eclipse of mercury: your birthday looks caliente.