HOROSCOPE #1

 

• Sign of the month : Libra , September 23 to October 22 (like Jean-Claude Van Damme) 

Singles: reconsider your haughty, self-important behavior, it's not the way to find your sparkling Bachelor. For couples, Jupiter and Venus join forces this month for your happiness, with butterflies in the belly and blissful smiles on the agenda. Money: stop playing the lottery and start working instead. Fitness: stop eating sausages and start eating salads, because the vacations are over.

 

 

• Scorpio, from October 23 to November 22 (like Patrick Sebastien)

There's nothing to say for Scorpios in couples, but singles will benefit from a beautiful alignment of the planets and will meet people who could turn their lives upside down (marriage, a child, a bungalow and a minivan... or better). Work: don't underestimate your colleagues, you may need them to keep the photocopier running. Fitness: Don't forget your concealer.

•  Sagittarius, November 23 to December 21 (like Thierry Lhermitte)

It's the festival of love for you, whether you're single or in a couple, this will be a time of a thousand voluptuous love affairs, and your stories will inspire the next Marc Levy. Money: you've enjoyed your Jay-Z x Beyoncé concert, but your bank account is less so... Go green this month. Work: your colleagues are jealous of your long-lasting tan and rightly so, so keep a low profile. Fitness: Get out and cover up, even if autumn is mild.

• Capricorn, from December 22 to January 20 (like Roselyne Bachelot)

On the love front, Mercury is not forgetting you and is sure to warm up temperatures. Watch out for pretty words, don't send her hundreds of text messages and, above all, stop kissing her passionately in the metro: think a little of others! Work: You feel hostility coming from your colleagues. Perhaps if you stopped humming Disney songs, everything would be better... Fitness: the start of the new school year is always a difficult time, but don't force yourself to drink. 

 

 

• Aquarius, January 21 to February 19 (like Clara Morgane)

Love: Strange as it may seem, you're not very interested in the subject at the moment. Don't worry, a tall blond will soon make his entrance! If you're an Aquarius in a relationship, break the routine and treat her to a surprise weekend. At work, everything's running smoothly except for the coffee machine, so take advantage of this extra time to finish off current projects. Fitness: Remember that your elliptical trainer isn't a coat rack, but a way of shedding those extra pounds you've been carrying around on vacation.

•  Pisces, February 20 to March 20 (like Nelson Monfort)

Single Pisceans are swimming in calm waters, but not for long, as Venus will be coming to surprise you. Money: start thinking about Christmas and that nice present you promised your other half to make up for the last time you made his cashmere sweater shrink, so put it aside. Work: difficulties at the moment, but don't worry, it seems you're not the only one. Fitness: don't immolate yourself at the Pôle Emploi, stay calm and breathe. 

• Aries, from March 21 to April 20 (like Céline Dion)

Love: If you're a couple, you'll enjoy some particularly intense moments that will make you forget all the bad things about your other half that you've discovered during these two weeks at the campsite... For singles, passion will be at the tip of your nose. Money: Now's the time to play Tac o Tac, as Saturn brings you luck and success! However, be careful not to overdo it: the PMU isn't exactly the place where you'll make your best acquaintances. Fitness: avoid coffee, prefer Chai Tea Latte. 

• Taurus, April 21 to May 21 (like Bernadette Chirac) 

Single women: Put your feminist principles aside for a moment, accept the compliments you get on the street and take it as a sign that the day is going to be a good one. For Taurus couples, you'll have to stop casting frantic glances at the new temp, you've got what it takes at home. Work: stop pretending to type frantically on your keyboard when your boss passes by, he's not fooled. Fitness: Don't listen to your father who tells you that a glass of wine a day is good for the heart. 

• Gemini, May 22 to June 21 (like Johnny Halliday)

Love: singles, it's time to go on the offensive, get off the beaten track and embark on an adventure. Couples: add a little spice to your libido, but watch out for bad falls if you buy a swing. Money: Put down that little A.P.C. sweater and let your PEL grow for next month. Fitness: Make yourself a nice apple-carrot-ginger smoothie. 

 

• Cancer, from June 22 to July 22 (like Mimie Mathy)

For Cancer couples, everything will go smoothly thanks to reassuring Venus. If you're in love, be careful not to let your self-esteem get in the way: don't jump at the first chance you get, or you'll be disappointed. (In other words, take it easy on Tinder dating! ) Work: use your sensitivity and spread the love around you. Fitness: If you can't afford a spa, buy yourself a record of whale songs to relax.

• Leo, from July 23 to August 23 (like Diam's)

Love: Singles, be warned: a meeting could fall into your lap like a stroke of sunshine, a stroke of love... In short, keep your eyes open. If you're in a relationship, it's best to turn a blind eye to all those high-school kids smiling at you. Money: If you owe someone money, pay them back and offer them something in return (but not your body). Fitness: You're on a roll, baby.

•  Virgo, from August 24 to September 22 (like Geneviève de Fontenay)

You can't stand him anymore: his socks, his songs in the shower, his mother... Relax, forgive him his little foibles and make concessions (I'm sure your face when you wake up isn't great either). For the lonely-hearted, stop dwelling on the past, and make up your mind: vacation romances never last, and that's why we love them so much. So move on, forget him, it's been a long time since he started hitting on that girl at Starbucks. On the work front, your brain is in an eruption and you won't want to leave your desk, but don't forget to feed your cat. Fitness: Go and flirt at the gym!