HOROSCOPE #2

 

• Capricorn: December 22 to January 20 (like Michelle Obama)

You're morose, and depressed by the apocalyptic atmosphere of the beginning of this year, as we understand you... But rather than trying to pass a bill to go straight into 2016, make yourself a reason, listen to Stevie Wonder, and make a list of the great things in your life... Don't forget to breathe.

• Sagittarius, November 23 to December 21 (like Béatrice Dalle)

Attacks from a Capricorn will be persistent, so stay calm and remember that: tough love will spoil you (as long as the spikes remain verbal, otherwise run away!). The first half of February promises to be full of surprises, and you're sure to hear about your casting for The Voice 2016.

• Pisces, from February 20 to March 20 (like Zahia)

Work: you feel you need a change, you're probably watching too much France 5, so you're thinking of a career change, from brushing ponies to singing opera, but refocus, it's a slippery slope. Pluto in Pisces makes you bold, so take the initiative and ask for a raise.

 

 

• Gemini, May 22 to June 21 (like Lio)

 Geminis in the third decan dream of sunny beaches, escapism and prodigious glitter oil. Your bank account won't allow you to indulge these fantasies! As for your health, it's going well, perhaps a little too well, so be careful not to look like the Michelin man.  

• Cancer, from June 22 to July 22 (like Vin Diesel, good luck)

"Tu m'oublieras" (You'll forget me), this song is playing over and over in your head, you hardly know it, you're getting carried away and you're afraid of getting your bag packed... It's normal, take a deep breath and enjoy the present moment, because as Larusso so aptly puts it, "l'amour tu sais, ah ah yeah, n'a pas de mémoire" (love, you know, ah ah yeah, has no memory). Take life from the ginger side: Kiffez... 

• Leo, from July 23 to August 23 (like Alizée)

Stop watching Baby Boom on Tuesday nights and crying, go out and have fun, that's how you'll meet the father of your children... Luck will smile on you as Venus and Pollux will soon align and guarantee you a serene future, now's the time to step on the PMU lino. 

 

 

• Aries, from March 21 to April 20 (like Quentin Tarantino)

Your love affairs are pointless at the moment, so let's face it: stop hanging on, and if you haven't made a deal after 19 dates, give it up - you're better than that, damn it! The planets are aligned under the sign of the dollar, so it's time to reward yourself and take advantage of the 3rd decan of sales.

• Aquarius, January 21 to February 19 (like Joseph Gordon-Levitt) 

You're feeling exhausted, you've probably overindulged during the festive season, so keep your feet on the ground if you don't want to catch mono before February 14... Uranus is lurking around your wallet, so don't give in to the temptation of new collections, take a weekend getaway with the girls instead. 

• Taurus, April 21 to May 21 (like Nikos Aliagas, too bad) 

Your job takes precedence over the rest of your life, so yes, it's great to be fulfilled professionally, but maybe you should think about taking some time for yourself, and your other half. And no, sorry, 57 minutes of Game Of Thrones is not what we call quality time to spend together. Disconnect from your screens and lose yourself in her eyes.

 

 

• Virgo, from August 24 to September 22 (like Eve Angeli)

If you're single, stop acting like a saint and smile back at charming strangers, who don't necessarily mean you any harm. In your professional life, work on your diplomacy and take your colleagues' remarks lightly. You're great, but it can't be easy to shine next to you.

•  Libra , September 23 to October 22 (like Eminem) 

You're feeling invincible, full of self-confidence, and what's more, you've just learned that your ex has just been dumped. Everything's smiling on you, so make the most of it! Just one word of advice: share all these good vibes with the people around you! Total eclipse of the heart, as Bonnie Tyler would say! 

• Scorpio, from October 23 to November 22 (like Alain Delon)

If you're single and really want to warm up, don't worry, winter won't last forever. Venus in your sign will be your ally, so now's the time to provoke destiny and wait for your target by the coffee machine... In your relationship: all's well, stop looking for the little beast. Cheers, go back to gluten.